Joke thread

[musashi]

 

[Uncle Jack]

A man goes to the Doctor for a health check. The doctor gets the man to take off his clothes for the examination. After a few minutes the Doctor turns to the man and says "You are going to have to stop masturbating". The man looks offended and asks "why?" The Doctor replies "Because I'm trying to examine you."

 

[longball]

 

[Ken Abbis]

A man goes to the Doctor for a health check. The doctor gets the man to take off his clothes for the examination. After a few minutes the Doctor turns to the man and says "You are going to have to stop masturbating". The man looks offended and asks "why?" The Doctor replies "Because I'm trying to examine you."

@Wayne_Curr ????

 

[Deach69]

 

[longball]

 

[Uncle Jack]

The old barkers' egg trick again. I just knew it 99. What should have been a walk in the park turned into a deadly trap. It has to be KAOS again!


I'd better ring the Chief. Oh, no 99 it's all over my shoe phone!

 

[longball]

Very creative, Uncle Jack! However, that very creativity has piqued the interest of, and, aroused the curiosity and suspicions of certain 'people'.
While I am not at liberty to name these 'people' I can wish you Good Luck, Uncle 99, on your mission from which no one has ever returned! Godspeed!

 

[Ken Abbis]

will the real @Wayne_Curr please stand up and help @Uncle Jack cough

 

[Uncle Jack]

Ah, the penny drops........
Thanks for the kind words @longball.
'To err is human, to forgive is divine' - Alexander Pope

 

[Uncle Jack]

 

[quinxstar]

 

[musashi]

 

[Uncle Jack]

I went to school with a kid that would have been a lifelong member. (Will the honorable member please rise)
He used to stand in the sandpit and hit people over the head with a hammer if they tried to use his pit.
He would have adapted to the underwear bit I am sure, being a good Catholic boy and all.
The Fathers of the church would have made sure of that.

 

[longball]

Hammer underwear fight gone wrong!

 

[Uncle Jack]

That's enough family memories @longball

That feeling you get when your clones start showing roots

 

[Uncle Jack]

Speaking of bullies and sandpits......

 

[Uncle Jack]

 

[High-mish]

Last Tuesday my family and I went to a local zoo and saw these pigs over there.. I explained to our kids that they like to play in mud and then chill in the shadow.
A bit later I sat down on a bench, opened our forum and saw a post where someone was talking about "being happy like a pig in dirt or poop" or something similar and I bursted out laughing and went back to take a picture of the pigs I can't find the pig in dirt/poop post though..

 

[Fish]

Last Tuesday my family and I went to a local zoo and saw these pigs over there.. I explained to our kids that they like to play in mud and then chill in the shadow.
A bit later I sat down on a bench, opened our forum and saw a post where someone was talking about "being happy like a pig in dirt or poop" or something similar and I bursted out laughing and went back to take a picture of the pigs I can't find the pig in dirt/poop post though..


View attachment 66830

Happy as a pig in shit is what we would say and they are happy pigs!