Joke thread

Cannalicous

Well-known member

n2ishun

Well-known member
Figure you guys might like a real life joke.
This is from that **oh my gawd oh my gawd, they're going to kill us all** bust in Coure D'Alaine yesterday.
This is NOT how you cuff a perp....this is how you cuff a guy on the same team as you.
He is literally holding his hands together to keep the ziptie from falling off.

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musashi

Site Moderator
Staff member
Today I will walk out, today everything negative will leave me
I will be as I was before, I will have a cool breeze over my body.
I will have a light body, I will be happy forever, nothing will hinder me.
I walk with beauty before me. I walk with beauty behind me.
I walk with beauty below me. I walk with beauty above me.
I walk with beauty around me. My words will be beautiful. ...


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musashi

Site Moderator
Staff member
Will Rogers was a humorist well before our time…. He did a great many quotes in his routines about “politics”….


Never Squat With Your Spurs On!

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935
plane crash in Alaska, flying with Wiley Post, was one of the Greatest political country/cowboy sages this country has ever known. Some of his sayings:


1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman.
Neither works.

4.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5.
Always drink upstream from the herd.

6.
If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it
and put it back into your pocket.

8.
There are three kinds of men:
· The ones that learn by reading.
· The few who learn by observation.
· The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence
and
find out for themselves.

9.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10.
If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look
back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11.
Lettin' the cat outta’ the bag is a whole lot easier'n
puttin' it
back.

12.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full
of bull, keep your mouth shut.

ABOUT GROWING
OLDER...

First
~
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age
and start bragging about it.

Second
~
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting
in line for.

Third
~
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me;
I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled
a long way,
and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth
~
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to
youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth
~
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth
~
I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh
~
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it's such a nice change from being young.

Eighth
~
One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth
~
Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.

Tenth
~
Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And, finally
~
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.
 
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