Joke thread

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why did the squirrel swim on his back?
to keep his nuts dry.

why do they name hurricanes after women?
cause when their there they're wet and wild and when they're gone they take your house and your car.
 
two vampires go strolling at night out for a "drink"
One looks at the other and says,"I'm going this way,you go to the houses over there."
They both agree to meet up later and go about doing their thing.

Later on when they reunite,one of them is dry.Hasn't gotten a drink all night.The second one arrives with his shirt completely covered in blood.

"Wow," the dry one says,"where did you find all that blood?"

"See the tree over there?" the bloody one says,

"yeah" says the dry one,

to which the bloody one says"I sure as hell didn't."
 
Have you heard the joke about the wall???.. I can't get over it .. Have you heard the joke about the butter???... I can't tell you or you might spread it.. :)
 
? The Koala and the Little Lizard ?



A koala is sitting up a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past , ? ? looks up and says "Hey ?Koala ! ?what are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. ? The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!" ?
? So the koala looks down at him and says:
? ? "Fuuuuck dude.......how much water did you drink?!!
 
shantibaba said:
? The Koala and the Little Lizard ?



A koala is sitting up a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past , ? ? looks up and says "Hey ?Koala ! ?what are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. ? The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!" ?
? So the koala looks down at him and says:
? ? "Fuuuuck dude.......how much water did you drink?!!
Click to expand...

Hahaha, nice one Mr Shanti.. Anyway, i'm off to read my science book about anti gravity.. It's an uplifting read :p
 
A ballerina goes to her doctor and says,

Doctor doctor everytime i have sex my toes curl up and he says...... try taking your tights off! :eek: :D
 
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