B
BucketBong
Guest
Hahahaha at the Nunchucks .... 
Chana
Chana
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van der Buis
New member
I was about to get married to Sarah but always had the hots for her sister Jane.
I drove to Sarah's place to help her with the wedding invitations but only Jane was there.
"Where is Sarah?" I ask Jane.
"She left for an errand"
So I sit down and help her sister with the invitations instead.
I notice how she keeps on smiling at me.
Suddenly she stands up and tells me:
"I must sleep with you before you marry my sister. I won't tell anyone about this! Follow me to the bedroom."
Without hesitating I stand up from the chair and walks towards door leading to the street.
When I open the door Sarah and her parents stand there applauding me.
Sarah's father shakes my hand and says:
"You passed our test! You're the right man for my daughter!"
So...the moral of the story is
...ALWAYS keep your condoms in the glove compartment of your car!
I drove to Sarah's place to help her with the wedding invitations but only Jane was there.
"Where is Sarah?" I ask Jane.
"She left for an errand"
So I sit down and help her sister with the invitations instead.
I notice how she keeps on smiling at me.
Suddenly she stands up and tells me:
"I must sleep with you before you marry my sister. I won't tell anyone about this! Follow me to the bedroom."
Without hesitating I stand up from the chair and walks towards door leading to the street.
When I open the door Sarah and her parents stand there applauding me.
Sarah's father shakes my hand and says:
"You passed our test! You're the right man for my daughter!"
So...the moral of the story is
...ALWAYS keep your condoms in the glove compartment of your car!
Fated
Well-known member
chuck norris
When Chuck Norris swims he doesn't get wet, the water gets 'chuck norris-y'.
The other day my brother and I went to the store, and when we came out a cop was writing us a ticket.
my brother goes running over yelling, 'what the hell do you think you're doing?'
the cop yells back, 'giving you a ticket! didn't you see the sign?'
my brother said, 'you bet i did. it says "FINE For Parking".'
hehe
When Chuck Norris swims he doesn't get wet, the water gets 'chuck norris-y'.
The other day my brother and I went to the store, and when we came out a cop was writing us a ticket.
my brother goes running over yelling, 'what the hell do you think you're doing?'
the cop yells back, 'giving you a ticket! didn't you see the sign?'
my brother said, 'you bet i did. it says "FINE For Parking".'
hehe
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van der Buis
New member
What´s the similarity between vertigo and receiving a bl@wjob from the mother in law?
Don´t look down.
Don´t look down.
van der Buis
New member
Dear Hemphrey, could you please explain e how that works? You got drunk on new year´s evening this year?
Jerry Hatrick
Member
aarrgghh
Has anyone seen the new Buddhist Vacuum Cleaner? ........
.....It has no attachments.....
Has anyone seen the new Buddhist Vacuum Cleaner? ........
.....It has no attachments.....
bluntmassa
Well-known member
warning don't read on an empty stomach or while eating. lol
there was this one guy he went down to mexico he was in a shitty bar and suddenly he had to take the worst shit. so he rushes to the bathroom and takes a big heaping shit then hes looking around for toilet paper and theres none around so hea looking around then he nottices a hole in the wall behind him and theres a sign under it. it says "wipe your ass with 2 fingers and stick them in the hole and they will be sucked clean by a human mouth" the guys like wtf? so hes thinking about it for a minute looking around theirs nothing else to wipe with so he says "fuck it " he takes his 2 fingers wipes his ass and sticks them in the hole. then theirs this guy on the other side with to bricks BAM!! he smashes the guys fingers the guy sticks his fingers in his mouth "mmmm mmm ahhhh!!! " in pain.
there was this one guy he went down to mexico he was in a shitty bar and suddenly he had to take the worst shit. so he rushes to the bathroom and takes a big heaping shit then hes looking around for toilet paper and theres none around so hea looking around then he nottices a hole in the wall behind him and theres a sign under it. it says "wipe your ass with 2 fingers and stick them in the hole and they will be sucked clean by a human mouth" the guys like wtf? so hes thinking about it for a minute looking around theirs nothing else to wipe with so he says "fuck it " he takes his 2 fingers wipes his ass and sticks them in the hole. then theirs this guy on the other side with to bricks BAM!! he smashes the guys fingers the guy sticks his fingers in his mouth "mmmm mmm ahhhh!!! " in pain.
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Two Nuns in the bath, one says "Wheres the soap?" The other one says "Yes, it does doesnt it!"..
Lol...
Whats the difference between a Weasle and a stoat.?
One is reasonably recognisable the other is stoataly different..
Did you hear about the Irish kitten..? Went down the garden, had a shit and burried itself..
Lol...
Whats the difference between a Weasle and a stoat.?
One is reasonably recognisable the other is stoataly different..
Did you hear about the Irish kitten..? Went down the garden, had a shit and burried itself..
painreleaf
New member
blonde joke .sorry
whats a blonde's idea of safe sex ?
a bus shelter
whats a blonde's idea of safe sex ?
a bus shelter
Betterhaff
New member
LOL EggyBread…there’s that movie line again…”I’ll have what she’s having”
Betterhaff
New member
She’s not a “chip-pie” now is she?
Betterhaff
New member
Chippie…joiner…wood, makes sense. Chippie here is old slang for one who’s rather loose, or a bit on the promiscuous side ;-)
EggyBread
New member
nursery rhymes for the young at heart
Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs.
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
..but she didn't wear that one very often!!!!
---------------------------------------------------
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.
------------------------------------------
Little boy blew.
Hey,He needed the money.
Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs.
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
..but she didn't wear that one very often!!!!
---------------------------------------------------
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.
------------------------------------------
Little boy blew.
Hey,He needed the money.
arpege
Active member
I met this beautiful Asian girl at a bar. We talked a little. She told me she works in a restaurant..We had a great time and ended up at my place. Had a couple of drinks and we ended up kissing and getting all hot and bothered ended up in my bed. I looked at her and said "baby you are so hot I want to get you in the 69. She looked at me all confused and said "You want pork fried rice.. now???
Brewquality
New member
bahaha!! on a more serious note.. Did you hear about the man in an accident, that lost the left side of his body? .. Apparently he's doing all RIGHT now!
