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longball
'21, '23 COE Winner
Two tall trees, a birch, and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the small treee. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."
The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the small treee. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."
ahahahaha some funny shit yall posting
Fish
2023 COE Winner
My wife has a couple of those on her list but the deal is they have to pay me a million bucks first haha.
Uncle Jack
Well-known member
longball
'21, '23 COE Winner
Ahh, the dreaded 'Do these pants make my ass look fat?" question. One of those lose-lose questions. If you ever said yes, no need to explain. Of course, you will say 'No', but the look on their face says they are not really happy will that answer either. It's a yes or no question so, WTF?
No one ever said women were easy to figure out and that you will get laid like tile. But, there is something better than yes or no. Assuming that you still want to stay with her of course. Sometimes it is better to simply say yes and get it over with.
Next time she asks you "Honey, do these pants make my ass look fat?"
Give her your best I'm-a-sly-dog-naughty-boy smile. Hold the smile and make eye contact for at least 3-5 seconds until she stops whatever she is doing and pays complete attention to you.
Then say, "I don't know. I'd have to see your ass without the pants." Then just wait expectantly, continuing to hold eye contact.
One of two things will happen. Either she will take the pants off or she won't. If she takes them off......close the deal! If she doesn't take them off she should have at least smiled letting you know that you answered the question correctly. That means good things will happen to you from her in the near future.
Warning/Tip: Women only ask this question when they are in fertile part of their monthly cycle.
