Joke thread

  • Thread starter Thread starter noshow
  • Start date Start date
G`day no show
16gg4zd.jpg

I got a million of em
Tanks for sharin
Elmer Bud
 
tyou all

Elmer, an all. Good jokes man all of you. I love those boobs too...Ns
 
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.








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I've been doing the Fonda workout: The Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and go to my sister's house and ask her for money.







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A doctor from Israel says: "In Israel , the medicine is so
advanced that we cut-off a man’s testicles, we put it into
another man and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."

The German doctor comments: "That’s nothing, in Germany
we take part of the brain out from a person, we put it into another person’s head and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."

A Russian doctor says: That's nothing either. In Russia, we take out half of the heart from a person, we put it into another person’s chest and in 2 weeks he is looking for work.

The US doctor answers immediately: That’s nothing colleagues,
you are way behind us.... In the USA, about a year ago, we grabbed a person with no brains, no heart and no balls. We made him President and now... The whole country is looking for work!!!!!
 
Paddy goes the doctors with a bad back,doc asks
how did u do it,,paddy replies having sex doggy style
doc says try having sex the normal way..paddy said
i have,,but the dog keeps keeps licking my face.....:p
 
Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what hed like to eat. “Ill have some fuckin French toast,” he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. “Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin French toast for me,” he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. “I dont know,” he says meekly, “but I definitely dont want the fuckin French toast.”





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Mite Killer

::Good god I must have been high earlier to think that was that funny...removed...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. “Heres that $20 I owe you,” he says.
 
Get in first !

G`day noshow

I`d like to take this chance to land a preemptive strike on one of our members namley that dirty rotten double dealin ,pollen chuckin , hermie raisin , low weight wet weed sellin ,wife beatin ,child abusing ,meth freakin ,DEA snitchin , no seed deliverin ,rip off merchant and all round Son OF a Bitch Elmer Bud .
I have known this man for more than 40 years and through it all he has no redeeming qualities what soever !

Right now I`ve got that out of the way I feel like a new man ! That tirade is just a reflection of the kind of discussion going on at the moment {12-14 Dec 2010 .
So rather than wait for someone who I`ve never met in my life before stand in judgement over me I really wanted to tell my side of the story so to speak .
Thanks for sharin
Elmer Bud
 
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
 
Dedicated to Bonbolos---


I went down to my local supermarket and I said: "I want to make a complaint. This vinegar's got lumps in it". He said: "Those are pickled onions."
 
tyou

Thanks Josh...Next time I write out something I'll leave it up. Just get a twisted sense of humore when toking up that I forgot about. Have a serious issues with Potty humor I do...lol. Be well good jokes on you all...Ns
 
2 old man sitting in a retirement home chatting.
Im full of aches and pains,how do u feel..
I feel like a new born baby says fred..
new born baby says john.......
yep iv got no hair no teeth and
iv just shit meself....:p
 
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners
 
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