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longball
'21, '23 COE Winner
Maple vs rosewood fretboard? And Gregg with a Stetson? Yeah, photoshopped
Dang! Must be my natural born paranoia. Here I was thinking that the guy had been shot and CIA was trying to cover it up! Thanks for clearing that up, musashi. Paranoia is a terrible thing to waste!
longball
'21, '23 COE Winner
A boss whose business has fallen on financial hard times needs to make some staffing cuts. He has two very competent employees in his office but can't retain both. One is a beautiful lady named Emmanuelle, the other is an amazing computer tech named Jack. One day Emmanuelle notices her boss is troubled by something, and being a thoughtful and caring woman asks what seems to be bothering him. He replies, "I just can't decided whether to lay you or Jack off."
DannyTwoJoints
2023 COE Winner
We were driving past a prison the other day and my friend shouted "look, there's a midget escaping from the top floor!"
I told him you can't say that.
It's a little condescending.
I told him you can't say that.
It's a little condescending.
Uncle Jack
Well-known member
Freedom_Fighter
Well-known member
Ken Abbis
2022 COE Winner
He looks a bit like Terrence McKenna after he discovered piesJack Black as Bob Ross is Absolute Gold
longball
'21, '23 COE Winner
The Old Pilot
A gray-headed old man shuffled into a downtown bar holding his head up high. His hands shook as he took the "Piano Player Wanted" sign from the window and handed it to the bartender.
“I'd like to apply for the job," he said. "I was a F-4 pilot, flying in support of war operators back in 'Nam, but when they retired the F-4, all the thrill was gone, and soon they cashed me in as well. I learned to play the piano at Officers' Club happy hours, so here I am.”
The barkeep wasn't too sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it had been quite a while since he had a piano player and business was falling off. So, why not give him a try.....?
The old pilot shuffled his way over to the piano while several patrons snickered. By the time he was into his third bar of music, every voice was silenced. What followed was a rhapsody of soaring music unlike anything heard in the bar before. When he finished there wasn't a dry eye in the place.
The bartender took the old F-4 pilot a beer and asked him the name of the song he had just played. It's called "Drop your Skivvies, Baby, I'm Going Balls To The Wall For You" he said. After along pull from the beer, leaving it empty, he said "I wrote it myself."
The bartender and the crowd winced at the title, but the piano player just went on into a knee-slapping, hand-clapping bit of ragtime that had the place jumping. After he finished, the F-4 pilot acknowledged the applause, downed a second offered mug, and told the crowd the song was called, "Big Boobs Make My Afterburner Light."
He then launched into another mesmerizing song and everyone in the room was enthralled. He announced that it was the latest rendition of his song, "Spread 'em Baby, It's Foggy Out Tonight and I Need To See The Centerline", excused himself and headed for the john.
When he came back, the bartender went over to him and said, "Hey, fly boy, the job is yours; but do you know your fly is open and your pecker is hanging out?"
“Know it?" the old fighter pilot replied, "Hell, I wrote it!”
