Was standing in field of fucking weeds yesterday, wait, let me back that up, sounds too
hoi polloi, was standing in a field of landraces, strains, cultivars, chemovars, cultigens, and all that Happy Horseshit the
hoity toity like to say, hoping for a nice sunset. The clouds had been so awesome all day but the closer to sunset the more they disappeared. I hung around a few more minutes just in case, and then it happened!
Skynet had become self-aware and was launching its attack on America! What could I do standing in a field of
fucking weeds landraces, strains, cultivars, chemovars, cultigens, and all that Happy Horseshit the
hoity toity like to say.
I called the only place I could think of with nationwide contacts to alert the country. I called Coast-to-Coast. They said it didn't happen without a picture, so I sent this picture.
C-t-C: "Oh, so this is a true story?"
Me: "Yes, it is"
C-t-C: "Have you ever listened to our show, Longball?"
Me: "Yes, but only when forcibly tied to a chair and an electrified cattle prod put on my penis."
C-t-C: "So then you know we never report on stories that contain facts or truth". Then they hung up in my ear!
Me: "Phuckers!" Turns out it wasn't Skynet after all. It was just some drones Putin had let Trump borrow to track Kamala. Friend said he heard it on Coast-to-Coast.